New years days

I used to get nervous on the last day of the year.

Still now, its kind of one of scary stuff for me.

Because even at the end of the day, or a month, i feel 'end'.

Its like when you close the book.
There are many stories, fantastic fairly tail in it, but once you close it, you can never seen. And it is time to get the other book. I mean 'next year'

This is sad.
And unsecure, because none has issurance for the next adventure.

I think i used to give too much inportance to all of 'last things'

What to wear on the last day?
Who to be with?
Where?

Many channels on tv show count down program.
I couldn't understand other normal channels.

They just doing random things and after they realize that they already in a new year? So rediculous.

I wanted everything under my control.

Now i'm getting understand that 'a year comes wether you wish or not.' It just comes, there's no control.

I still be nervous, feeling like i need to do something to close the book, and find the new book. But, better than before.

There is a big thing i discovered last year.
It sounds silly, but it was a big discovery for me.

Right after ending this year, the next year is right there waiting. There's no even one second to get in 'next year'

I remember i felt like i've no preparing time, nothing at all. And i was so surprised that people already knew this, and they live normally.

So now what i found out is, time goes by anyway.

Time is One of the most attractive stuff in the world.

It has different faces when you see from philosophical way, when you see from scientific way.

I like both.
Very mysterious.

I think i'm going to write about time soon.

By the way, this time, i'm glad to live normal on my new years days. I work from 1st of January, but still i wear a cap deep enough not to see around. I wear black just not to be effected by 'new' colors.

But i think i'm doing great this time comparing to past days.