super woman

this picture I draw as a flat and normal, for average.

because in fact, i drew only the feature of the face, the point of the eyes, space for nose, and mouth.

I put on her makeup.

yes, I used my real cosmetics. sounds fun, huh?

only mascara, I couldn't because she's a paper! she doesn't have hair!!!

so sadly her eyelash is painted by brush.

anyway, even me got surprised!

oh my god, makeup magic!

by the way, talking about my condition, its getting bad i guess, when I with my friends, I speak alot, tell them a lot, at night I regret , after wake up regret, but again when i see friends, I became super hippy woman.

the night i took the medicines, after that, I feel like i am nobody, and the medicine took my identity..can't walk, can't eat or drink. 

but I should keep going...

see ya

manic episode of bipolar disorder

I've been too lazy to write my blog. 

I was not in a depressed mood, I'm doing pretty ok. I try publishing my artwork and clothing products.

I'be been lazy on Etsy and some other websites too, but right now, I feel like I can keep working on it.

besides, I went to doctor yesterday, my doctor said I might in a manic episode.

I'm too active, insomnia, talk a lot... it seems like its good.

honesty, it feels good to me too. except, sometimes I regret a lot, that is a big heavy regret that I can't even get up. 

I can't see the line between what I can do and what I shouldn't do.

everynight after take pills, I try to sleep for about 2 hours. then I give up on falling asleep, get up and do something. painting, watch netflix, etc..

i finally sleep in the morning, for about 2,3hours. its like I spent all my energy completely.

when I wake up, I'm totally great.

but after living like that for few days, I sleep over 10hours.

after 10 hours sleep, I wake up, and I regret everything. right after waking up, the memories of what I did, heard, talked, acting and everything coming up on my mind like a tsunami wave.

its so heavy that I cuddle and grab my own hair, my body would be shaking and I scream.

after few hours, I gradually get better, and in the evening, I would be completely ok.

and then, I repeat the circle again...

today's picture, I painted it by watercolor .

I name is "BAT MAN"

I'm pretty satisfied of this paint. hope you like it^^

see you~