manic episode of bipolar disorder

I've been too lazy to write my blog. 

I was not in a depressed mood, I'm doing pretty ok. I try publishing my artwork and clothing products.

I'be been lazy on Etsy and some other websites too, but right now, I feel like I can keep working on it.

besides, I went to doctor yesterday, my doctor said I might in a manic episode.

I'm too active, insomnia, talk a lot... it seems like its good.

honesty, it feels good to me too. except, sometimes I regret a lot, that is a big heavy regret that I can't even get up. 

I can't see the line between what I can do and what I shouldn't do.

everynight after take pills, I try to sleep for about 2 hours. then I give up on falling asleep, get up and do something. painting, watch netflix, etc..

i finally sleep in the morning, for about 2,3hours. its like I spent all my energy completely.

when I wake up, I'm totally great.

but after living like that for few days, I sleep over 10hours.

after 10 hours sleep, I wake up, and I regret everything. right after waking up, the memories of what I did, heard, talked, acting and everything coming up on my mind like a tsunami wave.

its so heavy that I cuddle and grab my own hair, my body would be shaking and I scream.

after few hours, I gradually get better, and in the evening, I would be completely ok.

and then, I repeat the circle again...

today's picture, I painted it by watercolor .

I name is "BAT MAN"

I'm pretty satisfied of this paint. hope you like it^^

see you~